All Roads Lead to Rome - Muriel Klavers

All roads lead to Rome. Since I can remember, I have said this quote to myself. I wanted to be a dancer, so I started dance classes after convincing my parents. I wanted to be successful in my studies, so I studied hard. I wanted to travel the world, so I decided not to care about classic comments like "are you sure you can do that?" and just went away. It might not have been the easiest every time, but you can make it happen when you genuinely want something.  

I was born in 1996, and my parents called me the adventurous baby from the very beginning. In fact, my parents took me on all their adventures, from Canada to France, South Africa to Norway. I was sitting in a carrier on my dad's back, enjoying the views and outdoor hikes. I was 2 when my sister was born, and even though we hated each other some days, she was also my best playing buddy. We both loved Barbies and collected our collection. My early childhood years were carefree, without a doubt. 

Just like most kids, I developed this insecurity about myself. My parents never bought me branded clothing, as I would grow out of it anyway. I remember the faces of my classmates when we were comparing labels of shoes. Everyone was wearing Nike or Adidas, and they all had a sign on the back of their shoes. I didn't as mine were from a store called Bristol. Do I care now? No. But then? Yes. 

At 12, my female body started to change quickly, and my health couldn't keep up with the changes. My energy level was low, and I felt like fainting most of the time. All this made me an easy target for bullies. Comments regarding my appearance worsened my confidence and resulted in a few years where I didn't find myself good in my skin. Being compared with a horse mouth and hearing comments that your sister is wearing the same shirt a few sizes smaller... that doesn't stimulate your confidence in your younger years. 

But that was then. I realized that it would all be okay at some point in life. I graduated high school, had a lovely group of people around me, and started on a new road to Rome: my Bachelor's Degree. It felt like a new beginning, and I took every step along the way. After years of being afraid to set foot in an airplane, I rediscovered traveling. At 18, I flew with one of my friends to Tanzania, leaving my mom behind, petrified, and my dad proud. As soon as I came back, I said, "I will find an internship for next year in Australia." And sure thing I did. Nineteen years old and an HR internship in the heart of Sydney. It sounds ridiculous sometimes, but Sydney made me feel free. I figured more out about myself, got my confidence back, conquered fears, and let people in like I never could. I felt devastated coming back to The Netherlands. I have tried to explain why as I had missed my friends and family. But discovering things about yourself while being free and coming back to reality felt like leaving a little bit of myself behind. 

I carried on with my old life. I kept studying and enjoyed all the time I could with the people around me. In 2017, I moved to Amsterdam for my internship and then started a job after my graduation that I loved. Deep in my mind, I knew - I wanted that freedom again, and I will get that freedom again. 1,5 years later, my best friend and I took a plane to Singapore to start our big Asia trip. I wanted to do this with someone to share the moments. Australia made me realize that I can be by myself, but having the option to experience freedom with someone you love is even better. We laughed, cried, experienced a different way from each other but also found security with each other when needed. In the Philippines, seeing my best friend being her bubbly self made me jealous somehow. After a few rums on this beautiful island with an incredible sunset, I started to cry. Mad at her, but I was actually mad at myself. When I explain to people that self-love and finding your confidence back is not just a daily journey, I mean it. I thought I had gotten there three years before in Australia, but I still had some self-work to do. 

I've been in New Zealand now for over 2,5 years. I found a place that feels like my home. Every day is still a challenge, but it wouldn't be me not to take the challenges. It is crazy how much you can change as a person. When looking back at my younger self, I now can say that I'm proud of her and how strong she was. No matter what I could have changed back then, it all happened for a reason. It has made me a strong, caring, and independent woman. The advice I would give my younger self is don't settle for less. You are worth everything, even though you sometimes think you're not. Please don't listen to others and what they think is best for you. You know what's best for yourself.

And what's next in my journey? Showing my family my new home and hopefully many more travel adventures that the future holds. New Zealand has taught me to let some things go and live more day by day. I certainly have dreams. I would love to travel for work one day. I want to teach English in third world countries and looking into buying a campervan, which I can renovate. But I am currently focusing on today: trying to graduate with my Master's Degree. Whichever way I choose, it will all lead to Rome. :-)